ariellalisan.org – Homeward Bound

I WAS on Youngblood last Tuesday but I wasn’t able to savor the feeling of having been published again because I was in a quandary. It’s perplexing how easily people judge you and condemn you when you only did what you know is right and how people could easily sever relationships just because your principles do not meet?

But that is for another blog post.

Well, I went to the principal’s office last Tuesday and happened to scan the Philippine Daily Inquirer. I saw my name on the byline of the Youngblood contribution for that day. It somehow lightened my mood. There was too much pressure that day but God knows how to make me smile.

I CAN’T wait for this school year to be over.

I’m bored. It’s not that I am doing nothing. In fact, I’m doing a handful of activities. The thing is, I’m so bored with all these stuff. I’m so occupied with all these crap that I no longer have time for things that I’d love to do . Ugh.

I want action. I want adventure. I’m tired with all these routines. I want to go on a trek, or,  to just go somewhere else.

I SOMETIMES wonder what could be missing in my life. It’s not that I am too ambitious nor do I have insatiable desires. It’s just that I seem to live a life of mere routines.

I am doing a lot of things. I make people happy. I am doing my job well and I have good relationships with my superiors and colleagues. I am helping my family and I never gave my parents and my siblings any trouble at all. I have plenty of friends whom I go out with whenever time allows. I am doing my share of work in the church, fulfilling my duties as a Christian. But one thing is definitely missing.

I AM not bitter.

(I hope that by the end of this post, I have fully convinced myself. Haha.)

Seriously, I have never been loveless because my heart has always been  filled with love — not for a single person but for the humanity as a whole. Haha.

Whaah! This is such a stupid post.

I didn’t know Erik Erikson’s developmental stages is this serious. Ugh. Intimacy vs Isolation. I hate it.

Here’s my list of tips on How-To-Survive February 14:

• Never listen to Smother Me by The Used.

I’M NOT talking about tenses here nor about girlfriends.

I’ve never had a conversation with an online friend quite a long time. Just this afternoon, we had the chance to chat on Facebook.

Our conversation came to a point that he said he doesn’t have a future anymore. He told me that his parents used to tell him to always think about the future but until now, he said, that future hasn’t come.

Then I told him, “What you are today, was once your future. The future you are thinking of today will soon come. That future will become your present, and eventually, your past.”