IN THE last two years, I barely had enough time for introspection. I have been occupied with so many things that I did not notice my emotional and spiritual hunger.

My time had been spent on adjusting to my job and adjusting to life at home. I’ve been away from home since 2003 and it had been quite stressful to be living in a new environment at home.

I had a difficult time facing up to the new challenges. I’ve been living outside my comfort zone for most of the time and I am always treading new grounds. The responsibilities are greater and failing is never an option.

I spent some time by the beach just recently. I wanted to be alone. So, I went to a beach here and thank, God, I was the only person who thought of going there. Well, who would think of the beach when it had been raining in the past weeks.

I just sat by the shore. Meditated for a while. Recalled all the happy moments in my life. Read a book. Grabbed by pen. Scribbled something. How therapeutic had it been!

Now, after a few days at work, I think I want to do it again. I hope I can find time for it again.

But I couldn’t figure it out. What I came up with instead is a list of things I hate about growing up and grown ups. My inability to fit in is what I think caused all this mess.

Four Things I Hate About the Grown Ups’ World:

1. You couldn’t be the same carefree dude you used to be. You have lots of responsibilities on your shoulders and you can’t afford to just set them aside or else, you suffer. You couldn’t just smile and say, well, there’s a second chance, I’ll do better next time. You fail and you’d get kicked out and starting over again is so much harder.

2. There’s always a boss. I hate the bureaucracy. I hate the seniority rule. Why do they always think that since they are older they can do better? I hate the SOP on purchases. I hate the immunity of the boss. I hate the way they make rules and how they get away spotless once they break them. I hate how vague they write job descriptions such that you could be tasked according to your boss’ whims. I hate the way teachers study to master their craft and find themselves doing supervisory tasks and doing office jobs. We couldn’t do away with bosses, but do they need to be bossy when they are already the boss?

3. Things (and people) are valued for their monetary equivalent. Jobs are classified as high-paying or low-paying. Success is measured by the pay you receive or the properties you acquire. They couldn’t work without compensation. They’d always ask, what’s in it for me? The rich and the prominent gets the best accommodation in offices while the poor wait in long queues. You are judged by what you wear and how you look.

4. There’s too much formalities and too little essence. They spend too much time on the non-essentials and real work is left undone. There’s too much paperwork and too little service to those who actually need it. Believe me, you can get promoted by compiling documents instead of making a difference in the lives of your clientele.

My conversations with Ken on the phone does not only keep me sane. They also make me realize some of life’s little lessons.

One recent insight I got from him is about beginnings.

Yeah, I am man of beginnings. I am always enthused with starting new things, trying out something new and something different.

Most of the time, I exert all my energy and resources on something I am initiating. Most of the time, my interest wanes halfway through. They call it ningas-cogon in Filipino.

That concept of ningas-cogon has a negative reputation in the Filipino value system. People would say that it is not about how well you do at the start but how you finish it.

Well, that is sound.

But don’t you think it’s better to make a good start and influence other people to take part in the consummation of what you wish to get done? You start the fire and let it spread out.

Make a number of good beginnings. If you start it real good, you can ease your way out to the finish line. Usually, if something is really supposed to last, it eventually will. But press on if you must.

He lived to opposed oppression as caused by development aggression

He lived as an intelligent critic to all wicked

He lived to protect the environment

He lived to stand for what is right

He lived to value life

He lived

He was killed

— Lui –

WHEN I came home this afternoon the news on TVPatrol SocSKSarGen mentioned the name, Eliezer “Boy” Billanes and I my attention was glued on the report.

No, not again, I thought. He’s the nth activitist that has been killed in this country, another name in the long list of good men and women who had been killed because of their convictions.

I met Sir Boy at a multisectoral conference on various social issues back in college and in the mobilizations that followed. The people of South Cotabato is fortunate to have people like him who stands up for them.

He’s been active in the protests against large-scale copper and gold mining in Tampakan, South Cotabato.

He was shot dead at about 4:30PM yesterday, March 9, 2009 in Koronadal City, South Cotabato.

His death is a loss for the progressive community. But definitely, the fight will go on. This has just given his comrades all the more reason to stand up for justice.

*The photo above is from Kuya Lui’s blog

LAST NIGHT, in this same internet shop, I happened to sit beside a middle-aged woman and a little boy. I figured they were chatting with somebody. I thought they were talking to the woman’s husband who might be working abroad. But I was wrong.

It was the child, about 12 years old, who was typing the messages for the woman. There were some English words that they couldn’t understand, which I volunteered to translate for them.

Later on, they received a message from the person on the other end of the line that said: “Show me your ass.”

They asked me what it meant. Before I translated it, I looked at the mother in the eye, wanting to ask her, “Are you sure you want your child to see how that caucasian makes a fool of you?”

After I told them what it meant, the kid said, “Ma, talikod na.” (Ma,  turn around.) The woman did.

I felt enraged.  In my mind I was asking myself, “What kind of mother is this woman beside me?”

A little later, more videos were popping up the screen. Suddenly, there was a video of a man who was about to show his manhood on cam. Laughing, the woman covered that portion of the screen and asked the boy to close it.

The owner of the internet shop told the woman to take a picture of herself and post it on social networking sites to attract foreigners. She also told the woman to prefer older men to young men. Most of the younger men, she said,  do not have money.  They are just looking for Filipinas who willingly take off their clothes on cam. They won’t send you dollars. It was like the owner of the shop was giving her a tutorial.

What on earth is happening to these women?

I didn’t wonder when I’ve read in Paolo Coelho’s Eleven Minutes and Michael Chrichton’s Next) Filipina prostitutes as characters.

On TV Patrol SOCSKSARGEN this afternoon, there was feature on the law that protects Filipina women from abuse through schemes like online dating, where Filipinas are matched to foreigners.

The case of the woman who was seated beside me last night is different. She was the one taking the risk. She even made his son an active participant in the risk-taking.

Things like this really make me sad. I wish I could do something.

*I once wrote poem of this theme before. It’s found on my old poetry site.

THE WOMAN behind the huge flag project, Grace Galindez-Gupana, was called to deliver a speech. She wasn’t introduced properly, so we didn’t know who she is except that she has something to do with ABS Herbs and a certain HalleluYAH Prophetic Global Tower Foundation. More about her feats here.

Her speech made me dizzy. She failed to establish the purpose of creating such a huge replica of the Philippine flag and bringing it to various provinces in the Philippines. She didn’t even give us the dimensions of the flag, the persons she commissioned to sew it, or the details of her effort of coming up with such an ambitious project. Moreover, it was the most culture- and gender-insensitive speech I have ever heard.

What I heard from her rhetoric are as follows:

1. The Philippine flag that was to be unfurled isn’t the record holder of largest flag in the world. The largest flag is the flag of Israel, which was created also under her leadership. From her speech and from the leaflets they disseminated, I understood that her group is looking up to Israel, being God’s chosen land. The leaflet contained the holidays and celebrations of Israel. She also showed the 777 Yahveh’s Banner, which is actually a flag of Israel stitched side by side a flag of the Philippines.
2. The government did not allow the unfurling of the flag at the Luneta Park.
3. The administration of the University of the Philippines did not allow it to be unfurled at the Sunken Garden.
4. Sarangani is the most beautiful province. Well, she sure said that of the other provinces she visited, too.
5. We should elect young politicians. “May mga arthritis na ‘yan.’ She said that matter-of-factly. I believe it was supposed to be a sort of praise for our governor and vice-governor who are both young. However, she should have been mindful of the older ones who were also present.
6. No gay or lesbian has ever gotten rich. Or, verbatim, “Walang bakla o tibo na yumaman! Tandaan n’yo yan!”
7. You can earn 7,000 to 15,000 pesos a day from sago’t gulaman. In her words, “Sago’t gulaman? Tubig lang ‘yan at brown sugar,” but she told us that she made a fortune selling sago’t gulaman in front of Quezon City Hall.
8. She will be recognized as one of country’s top women entrepreneurs.
   Her team has spent about 40 million pesos already. That includes her travels around the country.

All throughout her speech, she sounded like a cross between a charismatic TV evangelist and a traditional politician.

We were all very puzzled about her motivation. Is it business? Is it evangelism? Is it a call for national transformation? Is it just publicity?

One thing is clear. This effort is bewilderingly crazy.

WHEN I first joined a national event, not so long ago, I have always been intimidated by participants from other regions, especially those from Luzon or those from big cities. That is but natural for a boy from a small and almost unknown province.

Later on, as we do tasks together, I realized that there wasn’t much difference. In fact, I felt like we from the provinces have richer experience.

Nowadays, I think it is a lot easier for the kids to get along with people from other places. The gap between them has been bridged by the internet. Most of the kids now have friendster accounts and most of them are updated with the latest hype. The internet appeared to be a homogenizing factor.

Assessing the attitudes of our students now, I can see that they have lesser inhibitions when it comes to mingling with other kids.

I wish I had known blogging when I was in high school.

The more will it be like that tomorrow as he faces the Golden Boy of boxing, Oscar dela Hoya. I’m sure, it will be one momentuous event in history. I am not really a boxing fan though I’ve tried it when I was kid, having lived beside a family of boxers. I have even worn the boxing gloves that Manny once used when he was still beginning his boxing career. No kidding. My cousins were Manny’s sparring mates then and they often trained near our house while we watched.

That was long long ago. We know how far Manny had gone. Today, we are not the only ones who’s gonna see him fight. The whole world always awaits his every match. And we have to pay big bucks just to watch a live video of the Manny Pacquiao vs Oscar dela Hoya fight in cinemas and some restaurants.

There are online sites, though, that offer free live streaming of the Pacquiao-dela Hoya fight like GenSanExchange.com. All you need to do is visit the site tomorrow at exactly 10 AM.

I am sure, there would be plenty of video replays of the Pacquiao-dela Hoya fight. And all of those will come free. Later on, there would be pirated DVDs that contain a compilation of his fights.

These are just few proofs of how big Manny Pacquiao is today. Not big enough to be the future Governor of Sarangani, though.

SWEET SIXTEEN.

That was how Vice President Noli de Castro described Sarangani as he graced the opening ceremonies of the 16th Foundation Anniversary and 6th MunaTo Festival.

De Castro told the crowd that despite being young, Sarangani is already comparable to other provinces in the country, citing the different achievements of the province.

He congratulated Gov. Miguel Rene Dominguez for the housing project being put up in Alabel and also appreciated the various projects to be launched such the the Justice on Wheels.

The Vice President also visited the Fabli Gu Ni, a trade fair that showcases the different wordl-class products of the seven towns of Sarangani.

De Castro promised to return to Sarangani on her debut in 2010. (Well, let’s all wait and see how the current political turmoil ends, if ever it will.)

TEACHERS IN the country may enjoy treats from any Jollibee stores nationwide starting today, October 5, 2008 until October 10th as Jollibee takes part in the celebration of World Teachers’ Day.

However, it is public knowledge that teachers do not need a treat from Jollibee because they need more than that. Nevertheless, we say thanks to Jollibee for thinking about the teachers. I wonder what is GSIS’ participation in this year’s celebration — setting us free, maybe, from all the anomalies some people in the agancy are allegedly doing.

There are some good news for teachers, though, like the 6-hour teaching load, setting the maximum number of classroom teaching to only six hours, and the proposed staggered salary increases. The government must be afraid that our good teachers will all fly to where milk and honey flows.

By the way, October 5 is set by the United Nations Education, Scientific, and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) as a day to honor our teachers who are the ones who help shape the future of the world. Support must be given to the teachers to help them perform their duties well.

More than financial remuneration, appreciation is what teachers in the world would be very grateful for. Two days ago, I had an insighful conversation with one of my highschool teachers who is now a co-teacher. I learned from her that she gets her inspiration and sense of fulfillment when her students go back to her and thank her for helping them grow up.

Here’s the list of teachers that I would like to thank:

Pre-School and Elementary School Teachers

1. Mrs. Dorothy Bayani (Pre-School Teacher – Alabel Alliance Children Learning Center)
2. Ptr. and Mrs. Rodolfo and Neneth Bactol (Pre-School Teachers)
3. Mrs. Elisa Alonso (Grade 1 Teacher Alabel Central Elementary School)
4. Mrs. Maulion (Grade 2 Teacher who taught me how to dance)
5. Mrs. Erlinda Domingo (Grade 3 Teacher who gives me snacks during recess and gives us prizes when we perfect our exams)
6. Mrs. Araceli Dinopol (Grade 4 Teacher)
7. Mrs. Edelina Phoebe Andang (Grade 5 Teacher and Constant Supporter)
8. Ms. Tita Lomocso (Grade 6 Teacher)
9. Ms. Rosalina Gabinete (Badminton Coach)
10. Mrs. Chirly Villafuerte & Ms. Ababat (Science Investigatory Project advisers)
11. Mrs. Gemima Casalan (Music Teacher)
12. Mr. Diosdado Ablanido & Mr. Diosdado Sichon (Mathematics Teachers/Scouters)

High School Teachers

1. Mrs. Aleli Dasmariñas (1st Year Adviser/Filipino Teacher)
2. Mrs. Shiela P. Butil (1st Year Adviser/Guidance Counselor/Research Teacher)
3. Mrs. Annabel Erolon (2nd Year Advisers/School Paper Adviser/English Teacher)
4. Mr. Daniel Zabala (3rd Year Adviser/Scouter)
5. Mrs. Conchita Medelo (4th Year Adviser/Student Council and JEM Moderator/Biology & Economics Teacher)
6. Mr. Romeo Casalan (Coach, Chemistry Quiz)
7. Mr. Ryan Sajot (Coach, Physics Quiz)
8. Mr. June Rad Butil (Music Teacher)
9. Mrs. Jasmin Angie (Statistics Teacher)
10. Mrs. Camencita Kuaya (Principal/Technical Writing)

All My College Professors, especially

1. Ms. Elma Rafil (Summer Enrichment Workshop/Guidance Program)
2. Dr. Susana Dorado (Physics Prof)
3. Mrs. Angelina Amonceda (Physics)
4. Mrs. Lorila Alunan (Calculus)
5. Mr. Ivan Ortouste (Philosophy)
6. Mr. Nilo Bulao (Statistics)
7. Ms. Paz Rosali (Education)
8. Ms. Eufemia Alcon (Music)

My siblings who have been my teachers before I started schooling:

1. Edna (She taught me math before I enrolled in pre-school)
2. Marivic (Taught me how to read)
3. Gemima (Taught me how to draw and coached me when asked to sing in school)
4. Marinell (Taught me how to wash my clothes)
5. Jasmin (Taught me how to cook)
6. Henry (Taught me how to manage my money)

And to my parents who taught me to respect others and help those who are in need.

If you’d like to thank your teachers, too, CLICK HERE.